March 17th, 2011

To Kill a Mocking Bird Pigeon



Ok now I love all animals but these little dirty rats with wings are everywhere, I'm talking about pigeons.  In Oregon they were rare/uncommon at best, but in Arizona they are everywhere.  Now they arent ugly, or annoying sounding in my opinion, infact I rather enjoy their cooing sounds.  The problem with pigeons is they shit everwhere!!  Its like dirty nasty piles of snow only.. its not snow!  Anyways aside from the pigeons Arizona is gorgious and I love the weatherm I dont honestly have many complaints.  However what i do have is a monthly update!  Here is all the dirty little secrets of whats happened in Sara's world.

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February 2nd, 2011

....to look back apon a reflection.

"When I look into a trans woman's eyes, I see both endless strength and inconsolable sadness. I see someone who has overcome humiliation and abuses that would flatten the average person.

I see a woman who was made to feel shame for her desires and yet had the courage to pursue them anyway. I see a woman who was forced against her will into boyhood, who held on to a dream that everybody in her life desperately tried to beat out of her, who refused to listen to the endless stream of people who told her that who she was and what she wanted was impossible.

When I look into trans women's eyes, I see a profound appreciation for how empowering it can be to be female..."

~Julia Serano 'Whipping Girl'
 
This is a quote I have mentioned in the past, a very well put quote that I could not agree more with.  Today I want to take a look at the past year.  Today is my birthday, my first birthday as the woman I should have always been and the anniversary of my first full year on HRT (hormone replacement therapy).  In this blog I will discuss both physically and mentally what has transpired through my transition.
 
WARNING the content of this post may not be appropriate for all ages.  It will discuss very detailed experiences of what happened to a person's body who went through hormone replacement therapy.  The content here is not intended for anything but educational purposes.

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January 21st, 2011

Could he be cuter!?

This past year has been rough, and I have noticed my blog posts have gone kinda south in usefullness and interest, or at least to me they arent quite what I wanted them to be when I started this.  So starting February 2nd, 2011 I am going to be blogging alot more personal information.  Subjects that will talk more in depth about the changes my mind and body have gone through.  Things between obvious physical changes to the deepest intimate details that those of us whom are or will be going through this want to know but dont know who to ask.

So thats the plan for 2011, more scientific and theraputic blog posts.. maybe some steamy ones to ;)

Until then I'd like to elaborate on this post's title "Could he be cuter!?" I am talking about Bear Grylls (left) and Jared Padalecki (right).  Bear Grylls, originally from Northern Ireland is the host of a TV show called Man vs Wild.  Now I know what your thinking, sure he's kinda cute but really?  Bear's sex appeal isnt just his looks but his personality, and his talent.  Jared Padalecki, who plays "Sam" in the tv series Supernatural has enough sex appeal simply from his looks.  Give me one night, just one night with either of them post my surgery and I'd be a very happy woman.  Between the two I actually like Bear Grylls better mainly because of his personality and talent in being able to survive anything and kick anyones butt if need be.  Just the kind of guy to protect his girl.  Now my wife on the other hand prefers Jensen Ackles (below) who plays "Dean" on the series Supernatural.  I have to agree with her Jensen is knee buckling as well  but I like Bear and Jared are more for my tastes. 

She also loooooooooves Jared Leto, the lead singer of  30 Seconds to Mars, a rock group that started in 1998 but is best known in the 2005-2011 area.  He is also an actor and in several movies (right).

Well all, next time I blog should be February 2nd, 2011, so until then XOXOX and a little extra X's for the two gentlemen listed above.

XO,

Sara

January 17th, 2011

New Year, New Changes, New Job?

As you might recall almost three years ago I injured my back in a car accident and wound up losing my job.  My job was to drive and I wasnt physically able to drive (you may recall from my previous posts) I have been unemployed ever since.  Its not for a lack of trying, ok maybe it was for a little while during my first year of transition due to extreme hormone levels and low self esteem.  But never the less I was actively looking but finding work as a transgender in her first year of transition... well people werent as receptive as we'd all like.  Next month (February 2nd) is my first year of transition (hormone replacement therapy) anniversary/birthday.  With this last year gone by and the hormones have made drastic changes I not only look as I should but I feel wonderful!  So this brings me to the good news that I have been dieing to tell you.  I got a job!!

Ok dont get to excited its only with Wal-mart and its a minimum wage entry position, but its a job!  A fresh start and my first job I have ever had (as a woman), gosh I hope I dont get to friendly at work and tell any of my co-workers of my blog.  See I tend to over share and I get overly friendly, not in a weird way just a happy-go-lucky way.  Anyways so I am 34 and its my first job more or less so its a great start! I feel like a teenager again, but thats probably just the hormones getting me all giddy.

I already did the drug test and am now just waiting for orientation to start, wish me luck because I need it, I have a long ways financially till I can afford my SRS and I needed it done a year ago.  Well thats all for now, love yas!

Sara

December 27th, 2010

What's my birthday?

Hi all, sorry I havent written in a long time.  Between moving to Arizona then within Arizona in Peoria to Surprise (yes thats actually the name of the city, Surprise!?), and with the holiday season... well that about sums up my excuses for this month.  Now that the holiday season is over and life returns to normal I can breath and take control of my free time.  So without further adu and no longer guilding the lilly, I bring to you this month's blog post titled, What's my birthday?

Now this post isnt about guessing my birthday or anything its more of a deeper thought into what or when for that matter is my real birthday.  Let me explain: On December 28th, 1976; I was physically born... imperfections and all, so logically my birthday is December 28th?  However on February 2nd, 2010 I began my hormone replacement therapy, transitioning from the man I was forced to be into the woman I was born to be.  So on February 2nd, 2010 I was born again, taking control of my life and doing something about the situation I was in rather then to give up and let the world consume me.

To me February 2nd, 2010 feels more like a real birthday then my original birthday does.  Yes tonmorrow I'll be 34 yet I cant help but ponder the fact that I'll simply be 33 years of numb, lifelessness and 10 months of true life.  I dont like birthdays in general because the only thing you celebrate is how old your getting and while its exciting and great when your young... as you get older it begins to mean less each year.  But a Rebirthday, now that sounds exciting!  A celebration of not how old you are but how much you've accomplished.  A celebration of living proof that you've taken control of your life and against all odds shown the world exactly who you really are!

So this year I am going to celebrate my birthday on my real date of life, the day I took my first true breath.  The day I first opened my eyes to the real world and my true self.  If your in Arizona or will be in the beginning of February 2011, I'd like to invite you to my birthday party.  It will be a celebration of life and ambitions of not only myself but all of those whom have come before me and after to be reborn again.

XO,
Sara