Weightloss Made Easy & Funny

This is not an ad or a sales pitch, I literally have nothing to sell to you.

All I am doing is showing you all my failed experience and extending all my success to help anyone that wishes to read this.

With my successful and persistant weight loss, I've decided to devote a page to just that.  Tips and ideas anyone can do without having to buy those darn diet gimic crap.  Ok first off if you plan to diet you will fail!  take the word diet out of your vocabulary because there isnt a single weight loss diet in the world that actually works.  See the problem with diets lets just call them the D word.. the problem with the D word is they are designed to help you lose weight, in your wallet.  Ok but seriously they are designed to help you lose weight for a specific amount of time or for a specific amount of weight.  Once done what keeps you thin and healthy?  Sorry there is no life insurance policies on diets.

Ok so if diets dont work.. and they dont, trust me I have tried them all.  I've dumped alot of money on the "lose weight by: taking these pils, wearing this item, doing absolutly nothing," gimics.  So what does work?  LIFESTYLE CHANGES thats what.  You can only lose weight and get healthy by a lifestyle change.  Changing your entire way of life is the only way to guarentee weight loss and its actually really cheap to do so, infact you'll actually save money by doing this!

Ok so here is a list of things to do that will guarentee you a healthier and better you.  I'll list them in an order of what you should start with and progress to.  These lifestyle canges are small but combined will impact you greatly!

Step 1:  To start, the simplest thing you can do and the most important thing... and dont read this and go "oh, I can skip that.. whatever!"  No seriously this firsts step is HUGE!  I went from being confined in a wheelchair to running 10 miles straight because of this first step.  Ok the suspence is over heres what you do..

Stop drinking pop/soda/soda-pop (depending where you live you call it different things, some people call it coke even if they arent talking about Coca-Cola).  Carbinated beverages is the absolute worst thing you need right now.  Its not the caffeine its the carbonation! Its screws with your energy levels, your joints, and your blood pressure.  "But Sara.. I am addited to my caffeine, if I stop I'll get caffeine headaches!"  This is true, caffeine is a drug and its more addicting then marijuana and alot of prescription meds.  So start with throwing out the pop cold turkey.. throw it all out!  Yes even the 2-litre you just bought, dump it down the drain.. today not tomorrow. 

In about a week or two you'll get the most severe headache you could imagine.. you can either drink tea or coffee and stay addicted, you can open a bottle/can of pop and let it go flat (you can actually pour it into a bigger bottle them shake and release pressure till it no longer makes that psssht sound, once the carbination is removed its ok to drink.)  but that will keep you addicted.  Or you can do what I did and just take a day off.. or two and down some ibuprofen and wait for the ride to stop.

Once you get passed this give it 2 weeks, you will feel a difference!  Its your start and its what helped get me out of my wheelchair and lose 90 lbs.

Step 2:  Start this about a month after you've given up carbinated beverages.. we only need one agonizing step at a time.  Ok for step 2 go out and buy the biggest yoga ball you can find at any Fitness/Sporting goods store.   They usually only come in three sizes.. now I know what your thinking... "yuk now were doing yoga?" 

No actually you wont be exercising on this thing, at least not that you'll know!  Use the yoga ball to replace your computer chair either at home or work.. or both.  The yoga ball is comfortable and simply by sitting on it you will work your core muscles (stomach and butt), Sit on it for an hour or longer if you can.. then within the next 2 weeks you'll be able to sit on it indefinately while you are on the computer, working, or watching TV.  Its great for posture and you'll lose weight just sitting.  I spend 5+ hours at my computer per day and its all 100% on my yoga ball!

Step 3:  Ok so you got the pop removed from your daily intake?  And your sitting comfortably on a yoga ball?  Now for the fun part!  Stop buying food in the freezer section at your grocery store!  If its frozen its not what you have chozen (ok yea thats cheesy but oh well).  Hot pockets, TV dinners, all of that junk is LOADED with preservatives and carbs!  Not to mention more fat then even a Sumo Wrestler needs!  Yuk!  There is absolutly nothing in that section you need... period.  If you have to have pre-made food then go make a decent sized pot of ground tukey chili or soup/stew, heck almost anything you make and then freeze is going to be better for you then what tiny over there is eating... (no not the little guy the other one in the picture to your right).  If you dont have time to do that then get your silly butt off the computer right now, stop reading my darn blog and go.. chop chop!

If you can kill all the soda intake, use a yoga ball, and stop buying food in the freezer section your on a GREAT start.  Do this for one to two months, you'll start losing weight, feeling alot better and saving money! 

Step 4: Ok so now you've done well with the first three steps its time to actually start changing your lifestyle!  (wait isnt that what we've been doing?).  Sure ok i'll give you that one.. well in step 4 you've probably already started noticing calories, fat content, sodium levels and carb amounts?  If you havent thats where we are at now.. it sounds like alot of work but dont shop based on those catagories just yet... just start noticing them.  If the calories are more then 400.. think twice about what it is your buying.  If the calories from fat is 50% or more of the calories? Maybe we should put that back.

Oh and dont get me started on sodium!  Ok ok get me started... Sodium is ok in low amounts.. look at the package if it has more then 400 mg start worrying, if its over 600?  *in a police bullhorn voice Saraphiene says* "Put the item down, back away and no one will get hurt!"  Basically if its less then 300 your probably ok, the less the better.  Watching labels will actually start you thinking on what your buying and believe it or not healthier food isnt actually more expensive, its the "health" food that will kill your pocket book.  You dont need health food you need healthy food.

Watch those labels and its as simple as that.  Look at it this way, you've saved money on not drinking soda.. you spent a wooping $20 on a yoga ball.. I spend 100-250 on a good chair that lasts me half as long.  And now your reading labels?  This isnt so hard at all, you havent even started exercising and already look at the impact your making!!

Step 5:  Now that your use to watching labels and your thinking healthier.. time to start working!  Ug the e word right? (exercise).  No actually I was....... yea I cant skirt my way around this one.  You have to get up and start moving, ya I know I tried holding it back as long as possible but I gave you a good 3 month head start.

Ok so exercise isnt as hard as it sounds... there is the easy way and the cheap way.. you pick.  Easy way go walk to the mail box and back, cheap way.. hire someone else to get your mail.  JUST KIDDING.  Ok seriously you've already spent a month or two doing exercise and you didnt know it!  Your yoga ball silly!  Just sitting on it was burning calories and strengthening your core muscles.. and you didnt even have to sweat!

Continue using your yoga ball but now start adding in nice slow walks around the neighborhood, to the store, chase your dog that escaped! eep! run for it Rover the cats outta the bag, they know your AWOL!!

Exercise doesnt need to be hard, it just needs to be... in your life. 

Well kidos thats all I have for now my fingers are going to bleed from typing soon.  I'll add more soon, have fun and be happy!

Love,