October 31st, 2010

A night to remember...

Wel its halloween and I am excited, alot has happened in the past month but it all comes down to what happened last night and what will happen tonight *wink*.  Last night a sweet friend of mine picked me up and took me on a girls night out on the town.  She showed me alot of Phoenix and even took me out to dinner, which by the way I strongly recommend eating at Ticoz Resturaunt in Phoenix!  I was overly nervous that night because the last time I went "out" was my 21st birthday and even that was just to a crappy bar.  Dinner was great and the atmosphere was priceless, the staff was extremely friendly and over all people just seemed to be having a really good time all around.

After dinner we went to a night club, before I continue I should let you know that I am a Night-Life virgin, I've never been to a night club and the last time I danced was at my high school prom.  So needles to say I was very excited but also nervous.  My anxiety shot up for a moment until we got in and I saw everyone was in halloween costumes, and most of them seemed rather inebriated which for me was great because if they couldnt tell I was once a guy (my biggest fear, that someone will find out) that it wouldnt matter since it was all costumes and stuff.  If they didnt find out then I was just another girl, cute but a overweight (still.. I know I know, i'm working on it).

So into the dance floor went, I kinda bopped back and forth the best I could but really had very little idea of what I was doing.  A cute couple that we had seen earlier in the club was with us and after I confessed that this was my first time they started dancing with me.  The guy.. I think his name was Rick or something.. very cute guy showed me a few moves and got me started for any basic song.  We all danced together and as the evening progressed Rick started dancing closer, I was taken back since I have never danced with a guy let alone had much practice dancing.  Then this tall cute black guy comes up and starts grinding with me.  I laughd and loved it, he eventually took a beaded necklace off around his neck (he had a dozen of them) and placed it around my neck, it was kind of like the mardi gras beaded necklaces.  It was just a peice of plastic but it made my night, for the first time I truely felt like a woman, a woman being eyed by guys.  Sure I wasnt the prettiest nor the thinnest but it was just fun.

Now I've never kissed a guy before, and before I started my hormone replacement therapy I wasnt even interested.  Since then my attraction to men has grown imensly and while dancing there were only two things on my mind; one was how much I really wanted to kiss one of these two guys I was dancing with.. nothing preverse and the thought of anything further never even surfaced, but a kiss, that idea danced in my head to the beat of the music.  The other thing on my mind was how much I wished my wife/husband (I get confused really what to call her now but my spouse anyways) she would have loved this place and she probably would have pushed me further to dance more or.. well do more.

We called it a night early, it was almost midnight and my head was throbbing.  I think the headache came about because I drank a peach mojito, which also was my first drink in many years.  And...I'm not suppose to be drinking to begin with, it doesnt mix well with some of the meds and such I am taking (basic anti depressants etc... ok ok, slightly more then basic but you get the idea).  I felt bad asking my friend to drive me home early, she looked amazing and was getting alot of attention, I only wish I could pull off the dress she was in!  OMG!  Well back to my strict exercise and diet regimine, I lost 100lbs early this year.. no sense in quitting now.  My goal is to be in a bikini looking hot as hell in two years.

Well that was last night, tonight I have nothing planned except for taking the kids trick or treating, but thats always fun and who knows maybe afterwards I can con my mother-in-law to watch the kids and I can take my wife to the night club I went to last night.  By the way the night club was called Amsterdam and I highly recommend checking it out, very cool club.  There were three bars, one in the dance floor area, one on the patio area and the main one just inside.  The main one I liked best because it was very gothic looking, they had these really cool black statues on the counter and it just gave me that gothic feeling.  Ok well I rambled enough so I will end with a two word thought.... The Kiss

XOXO,

Love you guys, Sara

PS: A special thank you to my new friend Stephanie, thanks for the great night!