May 6th, 2010

Running Backwards

I know its been a couple days since I blogged but alot has happened so I'll have an even better post today for you.  Ok first off on Saturday - May 1st, 2010 I finally went to the DMV to have my drivers license renewed into my new name (the only name you all know me as), my wife and I spent the morning fussing over what clothes to wear and what colors of make-up.  After we were both gussied up we headed down an hour before they opened so we'd be the first ones in line to make our time there short and simple, and we were the first ones.

After getting my license renewed and changed, the clerk turned the screen to me wanting me to see what he saw and to make sure everything was correct.  He was reffering to the "Gender: M" part because obviously I did not look like a "M", I informed him that it was incorrect but... before I was able to finish my sentence which was about to consist of the fact I had not had my actual SRS yet, he turned the screen back and pulled up the gender change information for the state of Oregon.

Apon showing me I found out Oregon is one of the more compassionate states for transgender.  See Oregon doesnt require the SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) to consider a woman to be female.  They consider her body chemistry and progress to be more then enough proof.  I quickly did a mental checklist of everything they requested on their list to have been completed: 1) Started on HRT (hormone replacement therapy).. check, 2) living full time as a woman... check, 3) Seeing a therapist and the therapist sign a letter stating all of the above..... no check.

I was gitty with excitemnt because this meant all I needed was to see a therapist, which was a step I bypassed and really should not have.  See the therapist is there to help you get through the really hard times such as realizing what you are, how to tell your family, how to cope and deal with rejection.  I've already done all of that, I was seeing a psychologist through the VA (veterans affairs) but her english wasnt the greatest and half of what I told her went in one ear and out the other.  She was however the one to write a letter for me to start HRT, though to this day I honestly dont think she had a freakin clue as to what I was talking about or what she was writing.

So I called around to every therapist in Salem, Oregon to find out either no one was taking patients or they hadnt the foggiest what Gender Dysphoria was or what to do for it.  Finally one place I called knew what it was and a doctor whom could see me as early as the next day.  So all that night I worried wether or not he'd be nice or some old guy looking at me funny, wether he'd be helpful to me or if I'd be wasting alot of money and time.

The next day I went in to my appointment with my wife, an hour later we came out of the session after meeting the coolest therapist I had ever met.  He was a younger looking guy, and shockingly easy to talk to.  The session ended with my letter for the DMV signed and ready to go, as we scurried as quickly as we could to the DMV to get my license changed before out kids got out of school.  For me this was monumentously important because I was unemployed and looking for a job where my resume, application and name on my ID all said female but the one little box on my license that said "Gender: M" opened an antire can of confusion to any suspected employer.  Getting this final hurdle completed (only major hurdle before SRS) would alleviate the stress and confusion to employers considering me.

After my car over heating and finally getting to the DMV and waiting almost two hours I found out that only certain therapists are approved by the DMV and none of which exsisted within less then an hour drive from where I was (in a crappy over heating car).  My mood crashed like freight elevator without cables, I felt I had just wasted all that money seeing my therapist and I'd have to find a new one in a town many miles away and start the process all over again.. wondering weather I'd find someone as nice as my new therapist was.  The DMV was compassionate about my situation and the clerk was really sweet, she printed the list of therapists for me and I went home.

I decided on the drive back to not let this slow me down, the very next day I started calling every therapist on the list I got from the DMV.  The first person I called was phenominally nice and explained to me I did not need to find a new therapist if the therapist I was seeing would be willing to take the one tiny simple step to be added to the DMV list.  See apparently to be added to that list all a therapist has to do is write a letter to the DMV saying "add me" and thats it... coarse they also have to have seen and/or read the "Harry Benjarmin International Standard of Care" document, which I took the liberty of printing out and adding a cover letter to it then delivered the entire stack of papers to my therapist's office.

Once he, if he's willing to and to be honest I havent a clue why anyone would be willing to see a Gender Dysphoric patient and not being added to the list that qualifies him to treat said patient in all legal aspects.  Not to mention he'd be the first and only doctor within 60 miles whom was approved and able to see gender dysphoric patients.  Well today is May 6th, 2010 and I anxiously await a call from my therapist (not necissarily today he doesnt work on certain days) hoping this quick fix is the last obsticle in the way of this hurdle of a flaming hoop this girl has to jump through.  I have not mentioned my therapists name or clinic yet because I have not asked him if it was ok for me to do so here.  Once I do I'll tell you all who he is so you can also benefit from this wonderful and easy to talk to doctor I met.